So I'm the type of person that is inclined to think all things happen for a reason. This type of thinking can open your mind to questions. I've found that the greatest insight to this type of person is to be intentional with the framework of your question. For instance... The power just went out! Possible question: "Do you think miniature pigs from France have tapped into our power sources in order to fuel their plan of ridding the world of bacon?" (This would not be cool!) Alternative question: "Are you up for a game of Capture the Flag?"
Now please do not get me wrong. There are far more serious situations that have the potential to challenge your thought life and rightly so. For instance... My child has passed away. My parents are getting divorced. My home is being foreclosed on. My spouse is having an affair. All my possessions have been taken and I lost my loved ones. Each of these situations have the right to emotion and lead to questions. If I were more scientific I could explain it as the process of cause and effect. One of the effects that serious, heart-wrenching stuff can cause is anger. The interesting thing about anger is that anger can make you angry for being angry! Maybe even guilty! But all things happen for a reason. How do you frame anger into a masterful piece of art instead of an ugly eyesore that gives you nightmares? Maybe this will help...
First off, not all anger is a missed mark. In fact, you have the right to be angry about what God is angry about. It has a title as well; Righteous Anger. You have the right to be this way until the sun goes down. Matter of fact, you have the right to many things before the sun goes down. When things don't match up to the character of God on this side of heaven, it should stir up some serious stuff in your emotional mix. If not, you might just be a robot!?
But what do you do with it? You see rights can disguise themselves as entitlement or lead you into serving yourself. This is my right, I'm going to take it. You may be under the impression that because something foul or far from the character of God has happened to you and that it is by your hand that change will occur simply because you may have the right. But there is something incredibly saddening that occurs when we take our right to bed and watch the sun go down. Our hearts harden and we miss out on the comfort and love of God. Hate takes residence in our hearts and evicts love. Then hate walks around trashing the place with no desire to clean up the mess! So anger isn't the issue, it is what we chose to do with it.
I like looking at anger as the "check engine" light in your car or the "almost empty" light by your fuel gauge. These signals are there on purpose to help you know when something needs to be checked or filled. If you deny their existence, you are in for a problematic outcome. If you overreact, you may never remedy the issue. Anger is the same way. It isn't meant to be bottled up or an excuse for us to just blow up, both forms are just as dangerous. You probably already know this, but "unchecked" anger doesn't do any good for you or the people around you. So when the anger light is blaring and blinking, consider it a time to check your heart. Maybe it's time to deal with some of the repairs you never took the time to have worked on? Maybe you've been using the wrong fuel and you find yourself continually running empty?
So we can ask a lot of questions like "Why is this happening?" or "Why do things look the way they do?" But thinking like Jesus takes intention and practice. So maybe today is a day to ask yourself what questions are you asking? Are you being intentional with the framework? Are you guarding your heart from questions filled with fear and why? Because while we are in the trenches of pain and blindness, there is a process taking place regardless of our choices!
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Pigs are not out to stop bacon production by cutting off our electricity (at least not that I'm aware of)! Anger and emotion do not hold the power to keep us down. Make ever effort under the sun to right what's wrong. Make peace with your mind as well as others. Replace anger with love... even if you have the right not to! Love wins...
Please continue to pray for peace and healing! We covet your prayers...
Things that give me help and may be a help to you this week...
Ephesians 4:31-32
Ephesians 4:26:27
Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 29:11
Proverbs 29:22
Galatians 5:19-21
Romans 1:8
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Friday, October 19, 2012
Halloween: To Trick or (Not to) Treat?
The matter of Halloween and other topics can, to most of our society, seem to be unimportant or "dumb" in comparison to things like poverty, bigotry, or malice... but they're not. What we deem acceptable for ourselves and our children to be exposed to and participate in will shape our viewpoint and legacy in this world. With that being said, if you are wrestling with whether your family will do Halloween or not this year, here are some helpful thoughts.
THINKING OF CHANGE?
First, if you have already been doing Halloween, changing that current tradition can be a big deal for everyone involved, regardless of the philosophy behind it. Traditions create memories and those memories can form how we function and be what we look forward to (good or bad). Wearing Spider-man costumes, making funny faces on vegetables, and engaging in neighborhood activities where one can both give and receive hospitality is not something we should oppose. Fictional fantasy tales of monsters and elves even scary ones are not wholly inappropriate either, whether punctuated on this particular weekend or sprinkled throughout the year in classic tales from authors including Tolkien and Lewis. It can also be difficult to deprogram a tradition if it's something you participated in as a kid. For instance, did your family trick-or-treat as a kid? Did your spouse’s? Being sensitive to that is important because there are many elements within the practice of Halloween that are alluring and leave us with beautiful memories (ex: dressing up, candy, pumpkin carving, etc.). So any compromise that you may need to make with your spouse, children, and any other family members in order for you to ease them into this change will help each person involved better embrace your decision and leave them with less opportunity for regret. Maybe you and your spouse can talk through some creative ideas that can become staples of tradition for you and the kids during this season that become a "healthy" alternative to Halloween?
HALLOWEEN HISTORY
So, honestly, you’re not crazy for thinking this through. Our girls know about Halloween partly because it's impossible not to know, it’s a significant part of our culture, and it is a teaching opportunity. Strangely enough, Halloween has Christian roots, too. The name of our present-day holiday, Halloween (or "All Hallows Eve”), actually stems from a celebration for saints formed by the early church. A celebration day for all saints emerges in church history as early as the 4th century, but it was originally set in May or the day following Pentecost (some records suggest this also paved over a similar Roman day of the dead), the date was later changed by Pope Gregory III. It wasn't until the Reformation period Christians became divided on it's practice. But there are many things bound in Christian roots that could be considered poor practice (ex: The Christian Crusades). Most of what we currently experience Halloween to be comes from superstitious Celts that would extinguish their hearth fires and host large ceremonial bonfires, sacrificing animals and crops. This didn’t occur on October 31 but around the same time, depending on the phases of the moon. It marked the end of the harvest and the beginning of a season where the people would be dependent on food stores and shelter from the elements. The Celts associated winter with death and thought that the season’s transition was marked by the close proximity of spirits. They believed this thin veil would help their Druid priests make prophecies, enabling them to survive the harsh winter. There is an accrued mythology that Druids also wore masks on this night and went from door to door, but historical evidence does not support this theory, it seems more like creative fiction manufactured to explain the evolution of modern customs. So, Halloween may not be inherently evil, but it also has no central, specific focus on the Lord we love. Whether we see Halloween as pagan practices, Catholic traditions, or good old American, candy-coated commercialism, none of these offers great reason to participate.
A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE
What I'm finding is that regardless of the premise behind Halloween there is a responsibility to be sensitive to the overall physical and spiritual safety of your family. Even though we’ve played dress up, gone trick-or-tricking, and gathered enough candy to advance job security in the field of dentistry, there are things that can present themselves that you may later regret. For instance, I remember two teenage kids with skeleton masks that jumped out from behind a tree inside the Oviedo Mall just to scare us. It frightened both the girls and my wife while I found myself defusing my primitive instincts and avoiding the advice given by LL Cool J in “Momma Said Knock You Out”. Needless to say it wasn't a pleasant memory and we have to revisit whether we should even do that this year. So there are a lot of unsafe things about Halloween, that have no direct relation to Christianity, that we do have the capacity to control and avoid. Still, some are virtually impossible to hide ourselves from and avoid. If you drive anywhere in Orlando you will most likely pass by a sign for Halloween Horror Nights and those images will plant themselves into the minds of our children. If anything, Psalm 101:1-8 is a landing point on this. Fear should not in itself push us away from participating in culture, however, we should be caring of what we see and those that are entrusted to us.
ALL THIS TO SAY THIS...
Our abstinence or participation in regard to Halloween should not be derived from fear, misinformation, Starbucks flavor, or pressure but rather from a sincere love of Jesus; every response to our culture and its festivals is a way to point to the God we love and serve. So, I plan on going to pick out a pumpkin and carve it. I'm sure we will get up on some Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks and do a fall festival. And we will dress the girls up in some fun costumes and go to a friend's party on the 31st. You won't find me twirling snakes, dancing at any ceremonial bonfires, or worshiping any dead spirits. Just sincerely loving the breath I've been given and considering it a privilege to oversee the physical and spiritual safety of our girls' hearts whether it’s Halloween or just another Tuesday night!
THINKING OF CHANGE?
First, if you have already been doing Halloween, changing that current tradition can be a big deal for everyone involved, regardless of the philosophy behind it. Traditions create memories and those memories can form how we function and be what we look forward to (good or bad). Wearing Spider-man costumes, making funny faces on vegetables, and engaging in neighborhood activities where one can both give and receive hospitality is not something we should oppose. Fictional fantasy tales of monsters and elves even scary ones are not wholly inappropriate either, whether punctuated on this particular weekend or sprinkled throughout the year in classic tales from authors including Tolkien and Lewis. It can also be difficult to deprogram a tradition if it's something you participated in as a kid. For instance, did your family trick-or-treat as a kid? Did your spouse’s? Being sensitive to that is important because there are many elements within the practice of Halloween that are alluring and leave us with beautiful memories (ex: dressing up, candy, pumpkin carving, etc.). So any compromise that you may need to make with your spouse, children, and any other family members in order for you to ease them into this change will help each person involved better embrace your decision and leave them with less opportunity for regret. Maybe you and your spouse can talk through some creative ideas that can become staples of tradition for you and the kids during this season that become a "healthy" alternative to Halloween?
HALLOWEEN HISTORY
So, honestly, you’re not crazy for thinking this through. Our girls know about Halloween partly because it's impossible not to know, it’s a significant part of our culture, and it is a teaching opportunity. Strangely enough, Halloween has Christian roots, too. The name of our present-day holiday, Halloween (or "All Hallows Eve”), actually stems from a celebration for saints formed by the early church. A celebration day for all saints emerges in church history as early as the 4th century, but it was originally set in May or the day following Pentecost (some records suggest this also paved over a similar Roman day of the dead), the date was later changed by Pope Gregory III. It wasn't until the Reformation period Christians became divided on it's practice. But there are many things bound in Christian roots that could be considered poor practice (ex: The Christian Crusades). Most of what we currently experience Halloween to be comes from superstitious Celts that would extinguish their hearth fires and host large ceremonial bonfires, sacrificing animals and crops. This didn’t occur on October 31 but around the same time, depending on the phases of the moon. It marked the end of the harvest and the beginning of a season where the people would be dependent on food stores and shelter from the elements. The Celts associated winter with death and thought that the season’s transition was marked by the close proximity of spirits. They believed this thin veil would help their Druid priests make prophecies, enabling them to survive the harsh winter. There is an accrued mythology that Druids also wore masks on this night and went from door to door, but historical evidence does not support this theory, it seems more like creative fiction manufactured to explain the evolution of modern customs. So, Halloween may not be inherently evil, but it also has no central, specific focus on the Lord we love. Whether we see Halloween as pagan practices, Catholic traditions, or good old American, candy-coated commercialism, none of these offers great reason to participate.
A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE
What I'm finding is that regardless of the premise behind Halloween there is a responsibility to be sensitive to the overall physical and spiritual safety of your family. Even though we’ve played dress up, gone trick-or-tricking, and gathered enough candy to advance job security in the field of dentistry, there are things that can present themselves that you may later regret. For instance, I remember two teenage kids with skeleton masks that jumped out from behind a tree inside the Oviedo Mall just to scare us. It frightened both the girls and my wife while I found myself defusing my primitive instincts and avoiding the advice given by LL Cool J in “Momma Said Knock You Out”. Needless to say it wasn't a pleasant memory and we have to revisit whether we should even do that this year. So there are a lot of unsafe things about Halloween, that have no direct relation to Christianity, that we do have the capacity to control and avoid. Still, some are virtually impossible to hide ourselves from and avoid. If you drive anywhere in Orlando you will most likely pass by a sign for Halloween Horror Nights and those images will plant themselves into the minds of our children. If anything, Psalm 101:1-8 is a landing point on this. Fear should not in itself push us away from participating in culture, however, we should be caring of what we see and those that are entrusted to us.
ALL THIS TO SAY THIS...
Our abstinence or participation in regard to Halloween should not be derived from fear, misinformation, Starbucks flavor, or pressure but rather from a sincere love of Jesus; every response to our culture and its festivals is a way to point to the God we love and serve. So, I plan on going to pick out a pumpkin and carve it. I'm sure we will get up on some Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks and do a fall festival. And we will dress the girls up in some fun costumes and go to a friend's party on the 31st. You won't find me twirling snakes, dancing at any ceremonial bonfires, or worshiping any dead spirits. Just sincerely loving the breath I've been given and considering it a privilege to oversee the physical and spiritual safety of our girls' hearts whether it’s Halloween or just another Tuesday night!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Pushed Past Your Limit? (Day 369)
I can't do it! Let me off this ride! This isn't what I signed up for!
These are all just some of the few things that have scampered through my mind two minutes into my treadmill time. Matter of fact, it reminds me of an experience I had with a friend recently before riding Big Thunder Mountain at Disney. We had found ourselves with some time to burn while at Magic Kingdom and decided to jump on what looked to be some sight-seeing train ride. After moving through the line, we found ourselves plopping into a two seated cart with a seat belt and some brief instructions on safety. No big deal, it's just a train ride. Next we found ourselves being waved at and immediately entering a dark tunnel making a left hand turn. After a short straightaway during which the sounds of bats can be heard, the train makes a slight right hand turn and starts to climb a hill. So as we are climbing up this hill my friend turns to me and asks, "Is this a roller-coaster?" Uninformed, I just shrugged my shoulders and wondered why he asked the question. Then it hit me, this dude is deathly scared of roller-coasters and that we were on one.
At about pretty much the same time as this hit me, it hit my friend. He started to freak out flailing his arms around looking for an exit. I'm not sure why my first response was laughter, but it was apparent that it wasn't a help. As we were being cranked to the first drop, I heard him praying fervently and making major deals with God, all being contingent upon his life being saved! Again, I don't know why my response was laughter and, again, it was not helpful. The rest of the ride was full of tears, screaming, closed eyes, and my laughter. As we pulled into the gate ending the ride, the most interesting thing happened. I assumed he would vomit, punch me, or ask for an ambulance... but he didn't. Instead, this fear-stricken wreck wanted to jump on the ride again!
It's amazing how much our thoughts can handicap us and stop us from going any further. Especially when we're not sure what kind of ride we are on. But even though today you may be beaten up, worried about the future, scared to death you will fail, losing something you feel like you can't live without, dished out something you didn't account for, and the ride just seems out of control... there is someone there with seat belts for protection and a track guiding you home. And the craziest thing is that if you just hold on and endure the ride, if you just surrender your fears and anxiety when you are pushed to your limit, he'll always be there to help you come through it. Heck... you might even gain enough confidence to ride again!
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 MSG
These are all just some of the few things that have scampered through my mind two minutes into my treadmill time. Matter of fact, it reminds me of an experience I had with a friend recently before riding Big Thunder Mountain at Disney. We had found ourselves with some time to burn while at Magic Kingdom and decided to jump on what looked to be some sight-seeing train ride. After moving through the line, we found ourselves plopping into a two seated cart with a seat belt and some brief instructions on safety. No big deal, it's just a train ride. Next we found ourselves being waved at and immediately entering a dark tunnel making a left hand turn. After a short straightaway during which the sounds of bats can be heard, the train makes a slight right hand turn and starts to climb a hill. So as we are climbing up this hill my friend turns to me and asks, "Is this a roller-coaster?" Uninformed, I just shrugged my shoulders and wondered why he asked the question. Then it hit me, this dude is deathly scared of roller-coasters and that we were on one.
At about pretty much the same time as this hit me, it hit my friend. He started to freak out flailing his arms around looking for an exit. I'm not sure why my first response was laughter, but it was apparent that it wasn't a help. As we were being cranked to the first drop, I heard him praying fervently and making major deals with God, all being contingent upon his life being saved! Again, I don't know why my response was laughter and, again, it was not helpful. The rest of the ride was full of tears, screaming, closed eyes, and my laughter. As we pulled into the gate ending the ride, the most interesting thing happened. I assumed he would vomit, punch me, or ask for an ambulance... but he didn't. Instead, this fear-stricken wreck wanted to jump on the ride again!
It's amazing how much our thoughts can handicap us and stop us from going any further. Especially when we're not sure what kind of ride we are on. But even though today you may be beaten up, worried about the future, scared to death you will fail, losing something you feel like you can't live without, dished out something you didn't account for, and the ride just seems out of control... there is someone there with seat belts for protection and a track guiding you home. And the craziest thing is that if you just hold on and endure the ride, if you just surrender your fears and anxiety when you are pushed to your limit, he'll always be there to help you come through it. Heck... you might even gain enough confidence to ride again!
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 MSG
Friday, November 11, 2011
Day 284
Core values. Bedrock beliefs. Foundational disciplines. We all gravitate towards and act upon these inner workings. Even when we don't have a strong opinion or conviction about something; we reveal our character! In the best of times we often go about business without much need for a compass... But in the worst of times; navigation requires one!
Last night, after purchasing the wrong brand of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, I had the privilege to talk to our 4 year old daughter, Emma Grace, about our family compass on gratitude and disappointment. Although my wife's children book illustrations are far more endearing and demanding of attention, I restrained myself from generic cliques and attempted to use the moment to make the most of our lives.
It started as a routine and common family situation. Emma Grace wanted Baskin Robbins. I chose what I had believed to be an equally adequate Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in Edy's (a store purchased, less fiscally terrifying brand). When I arrived home and unpacked groceries Emma Grace began to tear up and express her disappointment. I had failed to hear the detail in her request... she didn't want Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream; she wanted Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. She didn't care about the quantity or cost. Her mind was fixated on Baskin Robbins and no other possible outcome.
I can't blame her for the disappointment. How often do we set our eyes upon a goal, a relationship, a career, a desire and expect? How easy is it to slip into the comfortable robe of disappointment and leak our complaints out to anyone willing (or unwilling) to receive them? So... you don't have to be a 4 year old with the wrong ice cream; if you have breathed, you understand disappointment. But it's what disappointment can produce that becomes dangerous. Not just to others; but to ourselves!
You see when disappointment comes, and it will, I want my children, my little legacies, to be like stars! As a kid I would sometimes sneak out onto the cape cod styled roof of our house and sit and watch the stars. At that time in my life we lived in a rural part of town so the stars weren't dimmed and diminished by the facade of city lights that attempt to distract you in the midst of their fading. These stars were big, cosmic lights penetrating the skyline. They would demand awe and wonder. They were divinely fixed and constant - yet most visible in the darkness. If I were to define their role; they shined in the crookedness of the night giving hope for morning. They surely didn't add to the darkness; they defied it. So who wouldn't want their children to be stars?
Matter of fact, I wanna try to be a star. Not someone that is remembered solely by the number of wins they have accumulated on the field or downloads they have distributed through Itunes. Not by name recognition through a court case or simply just being another voice among voices. No, my hope and prayer for our family is that our compass is pointed north and by doing so we can shine... even in the simplest of moments when it's justified to complain or grumble. Even when the outcome looks meek and everyone else is taking their ball and going home! And when darkness is the forecast it will only magnify their opportunity to show that they are stars!
I love this quote from Og Mandino...
"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."
Without darkness there is no need for light. And without light stars fade and wither!
Sometimes disappointment and set-back are the greatest gifts we can be given. They have the potential to redirect our eyes from the things that put us in darkness to the source that brings us light! Not some fancy glitter trying to buy your attention before it fades. Do you see it? It only takes a couple shining stars in your life to make the difference! Do you see them?
Emma Grace ended up loving the Edy's version of her favorite Baskin Robbins ice cream and she even went the extra mile and hugged me without expectation. I don't know if she will remember the moment we shared in the kitchen, but daddy sure will...
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. Philippians 2:14-16
Last night, after purchasing the wrong brand of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, I had the privilege to talk to our 4 year old daughter, Emma Grace, about our family compass on gratitude and disappointment. Although my wife's children book illustrations are far more endearing and demanding of attention, I restrained myself from generic cliques and attempted to use the moment to make the most of our lives.
It started as a routine and common family situation. Emma Grace wanted Baskin Robbins. I chose what I had believed to be an equally adequate Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in Edy's (a store purchased, less fiscally terrifying brand). When I arrived home and unpacked groceries Emma Grace began to tear up and express her disappointment. I had failed to hear the detail in her request... she didn't want Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream; she wanted Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. She didn't care about the quantity or cost. Her mind was fixated on Baskin Robbins and no other possible outcome.
I can't blame her for the disappointment. How often do we set our eyes upon a goal, a relationship, a career, a desire and expect? How easy is it to slip into the comfortable robe of disappointment and leak our complaints out to anyone willing (or unwilling) to receive them? So... you don't have to be a 4 year old with the wrong ice cream; if you have breathed, you understand disappointment. But it's what disappointment can produce that becomes dangerous. Not just to others; but to ourselves!
You see when disappointment comes, and it will, I want my children, my little legacies, to be like stars! As a kid I would sometimes sneak out onto the cape cod styled roof of our house and sit and watch the stars. At that time in my life we lived in a rural part of town so the stars weren't dimmed and diminished by the facade of city lights that attempt to distract you in the midst of their fading. These stars were big, cosmic lights penetrating the skyline. They would demand awe and wonder. They were divinely fixed and constant - yet most visible in the darkness. If I were to define their role; they shined in the crookedness of the night giving hope for morning. They surely didn't add to the darkness; they defied it. So who wouldn't want their children to be stars?
Matter of fact, I wanna try to be a star. Not someone that is remembered solely by the number of wins they have accumulated on the field or downloads they have distributed through Itunes. Not by name recognition through a court case or simply just being another voice among voices. No, my hope and prayer for our family is that our compass is pointed north and by doing so we can shine... even in the simplest of moments when it's justified to complain or grumble. Even when the outcome looks meek and everyone else is taking their ball and going home! And when darkness is the forecast it will only magnify their opportunity to show that they are stars!
I love this quote from Og Mandino...
"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."
Without darkness there is no need for light. And without light stars fade and wither!
Sometimes disappointment and set-back are the greatest gifts we can be given. They have the potential to redirect our eyes from the things that put us in darkness to the source that brings us light! Not some fancy glitter trying to buy your attention before it fades. Do you see it? It only takes a couple shining stars in your life to make the difference! Do you see them?
Emma Grace ended up loving the Edy's version of her favorite Baskin Robbins ice cream and she even went the extra mile and hugged me without expectation. I don't know if she will remember the moment we shared in the kitchen, but daddy sure will...
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. Philippians 2:14-16
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Day 239
As I play the part of many here, a witness at best of yet another crowded Lake Howell game, I see humanity and it's many levels. Teams battling moment by moment. Fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, friends and strangers together experiencing the incredible emotion and physical back and forth (thanks to Austin Bagley - the Lion King). Screaming, cheering... weird dancing! Yet underneath, there is more... Many families tonight will go without food and shelter. They will be too ashamed to mention it. A percentage of families will head home to broken families in the midst of separation. They will be too wounded to admit it. Some will consider themselves less than worthy to be in existence. They will look for ways to be approved and accepted. We don't know the entire story of each person involved in such a simple game; Lake Howell and Lyman. But each person carries a story... And how will it be redeemed?
This evening as I think about how blessed I am to be part of a family (with many members regardless of name), I find it difficult to grasp that many fully miss the realization and reward of family. So I consider those low in spirit and meek, those wounded and forgotten, those broken and handicapped, those left without esteem... family! My simple prayer is that those that have dealt with pain, tragedy, lowliness, loneliness, back-row-ness, worthlessness, abuse, simplicity, drama, peer-pressure, anxiety, question, cautiousness, worry... know that you are not alone in your journey. That at every uncomfortable moment, precious exchange, and mysterious next step; God has our best interest in store for His glory and resolve for this world's fallen. You are not alone, stolen, worthless, unimportant, simple, ugly, bruised, torn... You are His masterful creation... and there are many willing and with you that will share the weight of the world with you! Bearing the stuff...
As I write this simple note, I ask you to say a simple prayer for my brother, Brad.... I miss him...
And as for your journey, please let us pray for you! Our family, our girls, are prayer warriors. We believe that when two or more meet, our Father hears each simple request... and love always wins!
This evening as I think about how blessed I am to be part of a family (with many members regardless of name), I find it difficult to grasp that many fully miss the realization and reward of family. So I consider those low in spirit and meek, those wounded and forgotten, those broken and handicapped, those left without esteem... family! My simple prayer is that those that have dealt with pain, tragedy, lowliness, loneliness, back-row-ness, worthlessness, abuse, simplicity, drama, peer-pressure, anxiety, question, cautiousness, worry... know that you are not alone in your journey. That at every uncomfortable moment, precious exchange, and mysterious next step; God has our best interest in store for His glory and resolve for this world's fallen. You are not alone, stolen, worthless, unimportant, simple, ugly, bruised, torn... You are His masterful creation... and there are many willing and with you that will share the weight of the world with you! Bearing the stuff...
As I write this simple note, I ask you to say a simple prayer for my brother, Brad.... I miss him...
And as for your journey, please let us pray for you! Our family, our girls, are prayer warriors. We believe that when two or more meet, our Father hears each simple request... and love always wins!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Day 148 (It's Been Awhile)
So I've been asked some tough questions in my life. In fact, my four year old daughter posed one the other night asking, "Daddy, where do unicorns come from?" Maybe it was because I was exhausted or didn't thoroughly know how to articulate my belief that unicorns are a figment of creative imagination, nevertheless, I chose to divert her attention to a delicious lemonade flavored Popsicle instead of answer her question. Do you ever find yourself doing the same? Glazing over the hard, honest truth to avoid the chance of a difficult and lengthy conversation? Finding innovative ways to avoid a subject that you may not have the answer to? You are not the only one!
One of the toughest questions that I get these days is, "How's your brother doing?"... To be honest, each and every time I hear these words it is as if I am transported from a paradigm of comfort to an abyss of confusion. Caught off guard like a deer in headlights! Why? Truthfully, it has been entirely too complex to articulate and most unfortunately I don't have any answers. Simply said, it is difficult to answer questions when a world that holds so much beauty can be polarized by uncensored evil.
It’s been about 54 days since I last wrote on these circumstances and sometimes life can move forward as if it is running from a blaze. We’ve had the privilege to celebrate our precious Emma Grace’s fourth birthday, we kicked off the summer at the beach with some of our closest friends, I’ve had the honor to pay homage to some incredible Proverbs 31 moms, and I have been fortunate enough to whisk my beautiful bride off to an exotic getaway (Daytona Beach) for our five year anniversary. Our days have been filled with overwhelming memories. Some very much like the above mentioned and some that I’d be less than enthusiastic telling you about. I’ve found that memories are, for the most part, inevitable. Regardless of our intentionality, we are bound to create a wake in this world that produces memories for someone to bear. Whether you are a detailed analytical planner or an improvisational whirl-wind, you leave a mark. And it’s for this very reason we should be constantly aware of our surroundings and the humanity within them. But that isn’t our nature.
Sometimes we mess up and leave a mark that stains deep. Sometimes we create a memory we wish we did not have to revisit. Sometimes we are subjected to things that we should never have to endure. This reminds me of a scary moment from the other day. Emma Grace, our four year old daughter, made the decision to jump rope on our couch with one of my hardly used exercise bands. In her efforts to become an acrobatic gymnast, calamity made an appearance to the show! Emma Grace lost her balance in mid-air and the momentum she had produced jolted her chin-first onto the floor. She jumped up with tears in her eyes and a wound great enough to send us out to get her some stitches. None of us will ever forget that moment. And how could we? We have the marks to remind us of what had happened; one on her chin and another on the carpet. You can’t just pretend like they aren’t there. It’s a memory engraved in our minds forever. It would even be fair to say that it is one that we’d like to take back or would rather that it had never happened at all. But we are bound to the circumstances and consequences that play out in this life. This happens not only as a result of our actions, but more commonly through the actions of others. And we remember!
So how do you forget unpleasant memories and selectively revisit the pleasurable ones? Suppression? Denial? Ignorance? Revenge? None of these choices seem reasonable or healthy. But some individuals make that choice. Some circumstances, stains if you will, go so deep that it may seem that the only way to make new and move on is to exchange what has been destroyed or to just throw something over it to hide the mark. Fake it till you make it! Sometimes we feel justified to hold on to the memory of what has been done against us and use it as a means of punishment. But these are failed formulas. Why? Because we remember!
You see when we say we forget about it, for the most part, we are like the guy that sits in a dunk tank while teasing the crowd… we eventually get hit and we are going down! When we are honest and embrace what has been done to us and what we have done, we become holistically and thoroughly free. But many chose to dress up the elephant in the room and tell people it's a coffee table. Many of us forget to remember! See I am one that tends to think forgiving is not forgetting. In fact, it takes remembering to forgive and to be forgiven. I love this quote by Lewis Smedes:
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."
So maybe today is a day in which it is inevitable to remember what has happened and quite possibly what is to come. Maybe the found memories have passed and you are left vulnerable to focus on the harm that has been done to you. Maybe today is a day in which you are struggling with forgiveness or holding onto unforgiveness. Maybe something is going on behind the scenes and it is making it difficult for you to do what Paul says in Philippians:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Can I tell you something? Here it comes…. I’ve found that the more harmful the situation, the more painful the experience, the more messed up things seem, the more unforgettable the memory; greater is the hope for the future! These memories are not to be taken for granted nor disposed of by hiding it under a cerebral rug! No they very well could be the measure of our ability to forgive and to be forgiven.
So whether today is a day that you get to welcome your first born child or bury one unexpectedly, there is hope! Whether you parasail for the first time in the Bahamas or you watch your marriage sail through divorce, there is hope! And it comes to those that remember….
You see things may be too complex to articulate and you may not have the answers. But we don’t need to be hindered or glaze over the truth. So what I want to say to those of you who would say, ‘I can’t do it, you don’t know my circumstances, you don’t know the situation I’ve been in,’ I want to say, ‘no, you can’t,’ there are some things that are not humanly possible, but if you let the grace of God get a hold of your life, you can do it. You can do anything…
Because it has nothing to do with how much you’ve done right and how much you’ve done wrong. It has everything to do with what He has done. He paid a debt He did not owe; we owed the debt we could not pay. That is a memory that I chose not to forget… forgive and be forgiven!
So make every effort to make memories that are pure, lovely, and admirable… they will be remembered!
One of the toughest questions that I get these days is, "How's your brother doing?"... To be honest, each and every time I hear these words it is as if I am transported from a paradigm of comfort to an abyss of confusion. Caught off guard like a deer in headlights! Why? Truthfully, it has been entirely too complex to articulate and most unfortunately I don't have any answers. Simply said, it is difficult to answer questions when a world that holds so much beauty can be polarized by uncensored evil.
It’s been about 54 days since I last wrote on these circumstances and sometimes life can move forward as if it is running from a blaze. We’ve had the privilege to celebrate our precious Emma Grace’s fourth birthday, we kicked off the summer at the beach with some of our closest friends, I’ve had the honor to pay homage to some incredible Proverbs 31 moms, and I have been fortunate enough to whisk my beautiful bride off to an exotic getaway (Daytona Beach) for our five year anniversary. Our days have been filled with overwhelming memories. Some very much like the above mentioned and some that I’d be less than enthusiastic telling you about. I’ve found that memories are, for the most part, inevitable. Regardless of our intentionality, we are bound to create a wake in this world that produces memories for someone to bear. Whether you are a detailed analytical planner or an improvisational whirl-wind, you leave a mark. And it’s for this very reason we should be constantly aware of our surroundings and the humanity within them. But that isn’t our nature.
Sometimes we mess up and leave a mark that stains deep. Sometimes we create a memory we wish we did not have to revisit. Sometimes we are subjected to things that we should never have to endure. This reminds me of a scary moment from the other day. Emma Grace, our four year old daughter, made the decision to jump rope on our couch with one of my hardly used exercise bands. In her efforts to become an acrobatic gymnast, calamity made an appearance to the show! Emma Grace lost her balance in mid-air and the momentum she had produced jolted her chin-first onto the floor. She jumped up with tears in her eyes and a wound great enough to send us out to get her some stitches. None of us will ever forget that moment. And how could we? We have the marks to remind us of what had happened; one on her chin and another on the carpet. You can’t just pretend like they aren’t there. It’s a memory engraved in our minds forever. It would even be fair to say that it is one that we’d like to take back or would rather that it had never happened at all. But we are bound to the circumstances and consequences that play out in this life. This happens not only as a result of our actions, but more commonly through the actions of others. And we remember!
So how do you forget unpleasant memories and selectively revisit the pleasurable ones? Suppression? Denial? Ignorance? Revenge? None of these choices seem reasonable or healthy. But some individuals make that choice. Some circumstances, stains if you will, go so deep that it may seem that the only way to make new and move on is to exchange what has been destroyed or to just throw something over it to hide the mark. Fake it till you make it! Sometimes we feel justified to hold on to the memory of what has been done against us and use it as a means of punishment. But these are failed formulas. Why? Because we remember!
You see when we say we forget about it, for the most part, we are like the guy that sits in a dunk tank while teasing the crowd… we eventually get hit and we are going down! When we are honest and embrace what has been done to us and what we have done, we become holistically and thoroughly free. But many chose to dress up the elephant in the room and tell people it's a coffee table. Many of us forget to remember! See I am one that tends to think forgiving is not forgetting. In fact, it takes remembering to forgive and to be forgiven. I love this quote by Lewis Smedes:
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."
So maybe today is a day in which it is inevitable to remember what has happened and quite possibly what is to come. Maybe the found memories have passed and you are left vulnerable to focus on the harm that has been done to you. Maybe today is a day in which you are struggling with forgiveness or holding onto unforgiveness. Maybe something is going on behind the scenes and it is making it difficult for you to do what Paul says in Philippians:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Can I tell you something? Here it comes…. I’ve found that the more harmful the situation, the more painful the experience, the more messed up things seem, the more unforgettable the memory; greater is the hope for the future! These memories are not to be taken for granted nor disposed of by hiding it under a cerebral rug! No they very well could be the measure of our ability to forgive and to be forgiven.
So whether today is a day that you get to welcome your first born child or bury one unexpectedly, there is hope! Whether you parasail for the first time in the Bahamas or you watch your marriage sail through divorce, there is hope! And it comes to those that remember….
You see things may be too complex to articulate and you may not have the answers. But we don’t need to be hindered or glaze over the truth. So what I want to say to those of you who would say, ‘I can’t do it, you don’t know my circumstances, you don’t know the situation I’ve been in,’ I want to say, ‘no, you can’t,’ there are some things that are not humanly possible, but if you let the grace of God get a hold of your life, you can do it. You can do anything…
Because it has nothing to do with how much you’ve done right and how much you’ve done wrong. It has everything to do with what He has done. He paid a debt He did not owe; we owed the debt we could not pay. That is a memory that I chose not to forget… forgive and be forgiven!
So make every effort to make memories that are pure, lovely, and admirable… they will be remembered!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Day 96 (Happy Birthday, Dad!)
Much of what I write tonight could be descriptive and revealing. It's been 33 days since my last post and there has been so much life to unpack and share with you. But tonight I will simply give you a bit from my heart...
Each day is a privilege and has risks. This side of heaven involves pain, betrayal, misery and mystery. Yet sorrows can be traded in. Although you may seem busy and life has you gripped and controlled, think again. Our days have been granted and numbered so we don't have time to hold on to regret. People suffer and need a savior. Believing surrendering is weakness is pride disguised as strength and a blatant denial of weakness that delivers true strength. Love endures. Love sustains. Love is hope.
Bradley,
I remember the days that you and I would spend with dad at the lake fishing. Although the cooler was packed with trans-fats (Bologna sandwiches and Ruffles) and country fix-ins, those were days to remember.We learned how a worm squirms while facing a hook and a bobber is like training wheels on a fishing line. Still the bluegills would always bite and we felt like Kings! How the lake seemed so vast and endless. As the falls would crash we would imagine we were anglers to be renowned and feared. Tiny warriors challenging the great sea (also known as Merrill Park). At least until my line got stuck on a log and dad would have to cut it and thread a new hook. Those days were innocent and unforgettable. Although you may not remember those and the many times we shared with dad at this very moment, I look forward to days that we may reminisce. That we may be reminded of the influence that brought us to where we are today regardless of the journey. Time and circumstances never separate truth. Nor do they hinder love. I still remember bouncing around the halls of grandma's house at 4 years old waiting to see you, my little brother, for the first time. Oh the responsibility of being the older sibling! The image of Dad holding your tiny, dark-haired, olive-skinned body in the palm of his hands radiates in my mind tonight. You are missed. Dad is missed. Still, love is the fragrance that remains.
As I pray for your well being, safety and progress tonight... I surely find you in fond memories and laugh until tears. You are not just a brother worthy by blood, but worthy by name. I will trust in the one who directs the cosmos and earns the hearts of the broken with your future. Missing you tonight...
As for the man who gave his life in unmentionable ways and inspired me to be sensitive to the legacy that I leave in my time... Happy Birthday, Dad. You are remembered and missed... (April, 26th, 1955)
Ephesians 6:1-9
Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Matthew 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.
Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless, and don’t curse.
Matthew 26:28 For this is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the remission of sins.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
Luke 17:4 If he sins against you seven times in the day, and seven times returns, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”"
I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Each day is a privilege and has risks. This side of heaven involves pain, betrayal, misery and mystery. Yet sorrows can be traded in. Although you may seem busy and life has you gripped and controlled, think again. Our days have been granted and numbered so we don't have time to hold on to regret. People suffer and need a savior. Believing surrendering is weakness is pride disguised as strength and a blatant denial of weakness that delivers true strength. Love endures. Love sustains. Love is hope.
Bradley,
I remember the days that you and I would spend with dad at the lake fishing. Although the cooler was packed with trans-fats (Bologna sandwiches and Ruffles) and country fix-ins, those were days to remember.We learned how a worm squirms while facing a hook and a bobber is like training wheels on a fishing line. Still the bluegills would always bite and we felt like Kings! How the lake seemed so vast and endless. As the falls would crash we would imagine we were anglers to be renowned and feared. Tiny warriors challenging the great sea (also known as Merrill Park). At least until my line got stuck on a log and dad would have to cut it and thread a new hook. Those days were innocent and unforgettable. Although you may not remember those and the many times we shared with dad at this very moment, I look forward to days that we may reminisce. That we may be reminded of the influence that brought us to where we are today regardless of the journey. Time and circumstances never separate truth. Nor do they hinder love. I still remember bouncing around the halls of grandma's house at 4 years old waiting to see you, my little brother, for the first time. Oh the responsibility of being the older sibling! The image of Dad holding your tiny, dark-haired, olive-skinned body in the palm of his hands radiates in my mind tonight. You are missed. Dad is missed. Still, love is the fragrance that remains.
As I pray for your well being, safety and progress tonight... I surely find you in fond memories and laugh until tears. You are not just a brother worthy by blood, but worthy by name. I will trust in the one who directs the cosmos and earns the hearts of the broken with your future. Missing you tonight...
As for the man who gave his life in unmentionable ways and inspired me to be sensitive to the legacy that I leave in my time... Happy Birthday, Dad. You are remembered and missed... (April, 26th, 1955)
Ephesians 6:1-9
Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Matthew 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.
Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless, and don’t curse.
Matthew 26:28 For this is my blood of the new covenant, which is poured out for many for the remission of sins.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
Luke 17:4 If he sins against you seven times in the day, and seven times returns, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”"
I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
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