Core values. Bedrock beliefs. Foundational disciplines. We all gravitate towards and act upon these inner workings. Even when we don't have a strong opinion or conviction about something; we reveal our character! In the best of times we often go about business without much need for a compass... But in the worst of times; navigation requires one!
Last night, after purchasing the wrong brand of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, I had the privilege to talk to our 4 year old daughter, Emma Grace, about our family compass on gratitude and disappointment. Although my wife's children book illustrations are far more endearing and demanding of attention, I restrained myself from generic cliques and attempted to use the moment to make the most of our lives.
It started as a routine and common family situation. Emma Grace wanted Baskin Robbins. I chose what I had believed to be an equally adequate Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in Edy's (a store purchased, less fiscally terrifying brand). When I arrived home and unpacked groceries Emma Grace began to tear up and express her disappointment. I had failed to hear the detail in her request... she didn't want Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream; she wanted Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. She didn't care about the quantity or cost. Her mind was fixated on Baskin Robbins and no other possible outcome.
I can't blame her for the disappointment. How often do we set our eyes upon a goal, a relationship, a career, a desire and expect? How easy is it to slip into the comfortable robe of disappointment and leak our complaints out to anyone willing (or unwilling) to receive them? So... you don't have to be a 4 year old with the wrong ice cream; if you have breathed, you understand disappointment. But it's what disappointment can produce that becomes dangerous. Not just to others; but to ourselves!
You see when disappointment comes, and it will, I want my children, my little legacies, to be like stars! As a kid I would sometimes sneak out onto the cape cod styled roof of our house and sit and watch the stars. At that time in my life we lived in a rural part of town so the stars weren't dimmed and diminished by the facade of city lights that attempt to distract you in the midst of their fading. These stars were big, cosmic lights penetrating the skyline. They would demand awe and wonder. They were divinely fixed and constant - yet most visible in the darkness. If I were to define their role; they shined in the crookedness of the night giving hope for morning. They surely didn't add to the darkness; they defied it. So who wouldn't want their children to be stars?
Matter of fact, I wanna try to be a star. Not someone that is remembered solely by the number of wins they have accumulated on the field or downloads they have distributed through Itunes. Not by name recognition through a court case or simply just being another voice among voices. No, my hope and prayer for our family is that our compass is pointed north and by doing so we can shine... even in the simplest of moments when it's justified to complain or grumble. Even when the outcome looks meek and everyone else is taking their ball and going home! And when darkness is the forecast it will only magnify their opportunity to show that they are stars!
I love this quote from Og Mandino...
"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."
Without darkness there is no need for light. And without light stars fade and wither!
Sometimes disappointment and set-back are the greatest gifts we can be given. They have the potential to redirect our eyes from the things that put us in darkness to the source that brings us light! Not some fancy glitter trying to buy your attention before it fades. Do you see it? It only takes a couple shining stars in your life to make the difference! Do you see them?
Emma Grace ended up loving the Edy's version of her favorite Baskin Robbins ice cream and she even went the extra mile and hugged me without expectation. I don't know if she will remember the moment we shared in the kitchen, but daddy sure will...
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. Philippians 2:14-16
