MRI Results

One word, elation, defines my conversation last night in regards to Brad's status. One word, desolation, defines the news this morning. My brother has been in the neurological intensive care unit at Brogess Hospital since Friday, January 21st. Each day proceeds to be a tremendous emotional and spiritual journey with a wide variety of information and research. Unfortunately this information and research is funneled to me at a slower pace than desired and from a distance of around 1,200 miles. With that being said, ups and downs seem to come more often than anticipated. While my brother remains in Neurological ICU and over a foot of powdered snow invades the terrain around him, the "weather prediction" given by his Neurosurgeon seems to be far worse than a blizzard. Previous CT scans revealed that my brother had a cerebral contusion, better defined as an intraventricular hemorrhage, in the left-middle side of his brain. They had indicated that it was focused and singular (this means one hemorrhage, one spot). After my brother's MRI doctors found much more damage than previously suggested. They found multiple petechial hemorrhages in the left and right side of Brad's brain (more than one hemorrhage, all over the brain). These bleeds, which are not actively bleeding, are considered Grade IV bleeds (this means there is bleeding into the brain tissues around the ventricles). These bleeds could have happened in result of the collision or during the days of elevated cerebral swelling while in the Neurological ICU. Regardless of how these were acquired, this type of injury has a poor prognosis if the patient is comatose. The Neurosurgeon did suggest that these MRI facts do not conclude one's future. She stated that they have seen many clear MRI's and the patient never wakes up and MRI's in which the patient was far worse than Brad and the patient is drinking coffee, reading the news paper, and telling jokes. The key long term indicator, the one that leads to hope of recovery, is his response to treatment. Each day my brother, involuntarily or voluntarily, shows signs of improvement, he has a greater chance regardless of information and research. Although my brother is still considered comatose, there have been positive signs. There have been times where he moved his leg, hands, and yesterday he opened his eyes. So elation and desolation will come without my control of it's timing. It's almost humorous to me as I sit here thinking about it. The path of elation and desolation. Over the last several weeks we have been working with our little 3 year old princess, Emma Grace, and teaching her about her response to circumstances in life. The daily mantra has been "The only thing you can control is your response to the uncontrollable". Easier said than done! While her biggest issues usually pertain to having to clean up her toys, submit to the word "no", or wait until after dinner for ice cream, she is learning that we have choice. That even when the cards dealt seem to be worthless (we mainly play Go Fish these days) and our circumstances are unchangeable, we have choice. A choice to complain, digest fear, inflict wounds, and destroy our future. Or a choice of hope. A choice to build up, kick fear in the rear, heal wounds, and be confident of the future. One is a prison, one is freedom. And ultimately we are in control of the sentencing. Maybe you are dealing with something far greater than ice cream and cleaning your room. Maybe you don't see a way out or any hope whatsoever. Maybe you don't agree with our family mantra and you are about to take circumstances into your own hands. Then maybe I can leave you with some words that I didn't write. You see this chorus seems to meet you right where you are, in the middle of choice. Maybe the reminder within it can help you with your choice. Love wins...

"He Is With You"

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can't even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby's gone
And your house is still and your heart's a stone
Cryin' God, what'd you do that for?
He is with you

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don't know you anymore
And he is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don't know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there's too much space and you feel alone
And you're worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes he is with you when you've given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take you final breath
He is with you