For the last several weeks I have been learning new things about our 3 year and 10 month old little princess. For instance, she is not a fan of dance class until she gets there and then we find ourselves having difficulty bringing her home because she wants to stay to be with Ms. Sarah (her teacher) and her friends! She has the uncanny ability to tell the sheer difference between the inexpensive "off" brand of Eggos and the real thing! Another example would be that she now desires her crust to be thoroughly removed prior to her being presented any type of sandwich. It's amazing to see her grow and develop to be more adorable and precious each and every waking moment we are allowed to be in her presence. Her latest peculiarity is to not be alone in the dark. No matter how much we coach her she is still incredibly uncomfortable with this. It makes a significant amount of sense; being afraid of the dark. When light is shining into a room it becomes much easier to navigate through. You no longer have the concern of tripping on something you didn't see and you are no longer susceptible to being harmed by the fall! So ultimately this equates to dark is bad, light is good! And if the two were part of a paper, rock, scissors type of game (reference due to last night's youth group), light would trump dark. Still, there can be darkness and I would have to agree with Emma Grace; no one should be left alone in the dark.
So here is my attempt to not leave those "in the dark" that have been praying and concerned about the well being and recovery of my brother!
On Thursday, March 3rd, I was informed that my brother's fiance was granted temporary guardianship of my brother by the county that he is currently hospitalized. For those of you that are not familiar with guardianship I will clarify as best as I know how. Adult guardianship is the process by which the court finds an individual's ability to make decisions so impaired that the court gives the right to make decisions to another person. This process begins by a petition being filed by an interested party or a hospital. An interested person is a parent, spouse or close family member, a close friend, or a public agency such as the Department of Social Services. Sometimes hospitals file the petition, as when an incompetent patient cannot be discharged to another care facility because the patient has no one who can sign the necessary discharge and admission papers and take care of financial arrangements. The hospital asks that a public guardian or someone else be appointed guardian.
In my brother's case, the hospital petitioned the court in Kent County (location of my brother's hospital) for the appointment of an emergency guardian without nominating (or informing) my mother and appointing my brother's fiance. This is unusual (but not illegal) because the parent has priority under the law and my mother had informed the hospital that she was available and next of kin. It is also unusual because prior to this appointment, my mother had been holding the responsibility of making decisions and signing necessary papers. This appointment also happened upon my mother's returning to partial days at work (an already overwhelming choice to make after being by my brothers side for 39 days). Circumstances are tense and lawyers are representing the hospital, my mother, and my brother's fiance. Since this date, things have been a considerable struggle for information and transparency. This appointment of temporary guardianship has now given all medical decisions and information to the guardian, my brother's fiance. Prior to this decision, my mother had received all information and made information available to his fiance and her family. My brother's fiance and family were always welcome and were allowed to hear directly from Brad's doctors and nurses every single day. Since temporary guardianship has been appointed to my brother's fiance, things have changed. Our family is no longer able to gain information from nurses or doctors. They have indicated that by doing so it would be illegal and that we will need to contact my brother's fiance for any information. This makes things difficult because information comes slow and in some cases, not at all!
This temporary guardianship also allows the appointed to make decisions as to who is allowed to visit my brother. Unfortunately, as of Saturday, March 12th, rights were leveraged. Our family (this includes my mother, step-father, uncles, aunts, my brother's 80 year old grandfather and 77 year old grandmother, my 11-year old son, etc.) is no longer allowed to visit and communicate with my brother. I am unable to call and speak with him and I fear I will be unable to spend any time with him when our family visits Michigan. I can't explain how surreal and painful this entire experience has been for ever single person involved. But I will spare you the emotion of it and just continue to give clear facts.
From March 12th to March 16th, we were unable to know whether my brother was breathing or dancing! After these days of no information, no visitation, and my wife and I attempting to receive information by sending several texts to my brother's fiance, making phone calls to the hospital and to talk to Brad, and a Facebook posting to my brother's fiance .... we were finally sent a brief update on Brad's progress. So I'd love to share it with you, just as if you were family....
"I just wanted to let you all know Brad is doing very well. Physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy are going good. Brad has gotten to walk a couple of times during physical therapy with a walker. Brad got to go and have lunch today for the first time. he did well considering he had been busy and was tired. Brads speech is improving as well."
Now let me sum this up... Throughout any trial or difficulty. Whether your faith is stretched and you become witness to brokenness and foul, inconceivable circumstances... there is hope and there is truth! And what sustains them... what keeps them going is love! When hope seems so far off and hidden, love sustains it (hope)! When truth seems muddy and fictitious thoughts try to move into your living room, love sustains it (truth)! It is the greatest of these (love)! Love is not a fickle thing that comes in the night to snuggle up and eat your popcorn. No love is far superior to even what we can muster up in our strongest will. Love is God... God is love. Listen to what this guy Paul has to say about love...
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
My take on Paul's writing...
Love is a life called to practice patience in the midst of tragedy, kindness to those that hurt you, encouragement to those that are doing better than you, humility when you have the right to say look at me, honor to the indignant and lowly, selflessness when you want, calmness in a burning building, breathing grace and forgiveness in the worst of missed marks. Love isn't a fan of evil but a cheerleader for the truth!
One other thing from this guy named John...
"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:16-19
So maybe today you are captivated by the fear of something. Maybe the potential of losing your job. Maybe the potential of losing your marriage. Maybe the potential of losing visitation of someone you love. Let this be an encouragement to you today. There is no fear in love! Love takes fear and punts it like a helium filled football. Why? Because love does not punish! Love isn't a fan of evil but a cheerleader for the truth!
Continue to pray for the hearts and souls of those involved in my brothers situation. Lawyers, judges, physicians, nurses, social workers, janitors, etc. Continue to pray for my mother, my brother's fiance, and all the family supporting Brad! My hope is that peace will permeate hearts and relationships will be mended. My hope is that God is honored and the truth validates love. And most importantly, continue to be aware of the truth. Although we are surrounded by tragedy (Japan for instance) and heartache, don't be afraid of the dark... Love wins!
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